stop smiling

Positive people suck.  i find overly positive people about as fun to be around as old relatives, mothball stink and all.  nothing is worse than a chipper asshole getting in the way of brooding.  you know the dickheads i am talking about.  the peppy, super-energetic, tan jerk-offs who, at 6:30am, are on the subway with you while you are trying to prepare yourself for the unbelievable bag of suck that is work, bopping their impeccably gelled hair to justin bieber.  its almost enough to make you want to shove them off the platform.    why are they so happy? what the fuck are they smiling at all the time? nobody is that happy.  you hear them talking to their other happy-fuck friends who are probably on the other end of the phone smiling a lot, annoying someone else like me next to them.  sometimes, although not nearly as frequently as it was when i was still an amateur brooder, one of these clown-faced assholes would come up to me and tell me to smile.  oh my god.  the worst thing ever.  its bad enough i have to be in the same vicinity as you and your smiling ass, but for you to assume we are friendly enough that you can give me advice, is ludicrous.  dont push your power of positive thinking shit on me.  keep your jovial devilry to yourself, its getting in the way of my brooding.

perhaps i am being too hard on these happy few.  but, someone has to step in and set some boundaries. i think there should be rules for self expression.  for instance, no smiling before 8 am.  i think this is fair.  anytime before that is unreasonable.  i dont want to see someone having a great time at 6am on the way to work.  unacceptable.  i believe if there is even the slightest hint of a smile before 8am, you should be given some sort of ticket, or maybe just a smack.  maybe you should be denied your morning coffee to put you on the level of the normal, miserable people.  early morning happiness is about as bad as a mustache, which, just in case your are wondering, i will discuss at a later date.  there is a lot more i have to say about these happy-go-lucky miscreants, but i am forced by my student loans to go an earn my meager dollars.  until next time...